I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
