respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
