I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
