my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
