i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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