The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
