I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
