i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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