hotel room ftw
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize