sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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