my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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