Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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