dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
