There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
