i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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