his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
