Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...