I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
