Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
