I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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