i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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