Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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