Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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