Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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