Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
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Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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