I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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