I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
