I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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