we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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