you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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