I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
this is an emotional support booty call
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
