when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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