More tranny stories later!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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