you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
