Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
