if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
accomplished twins. life is a go
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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