probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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