I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
