im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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