You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
