you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
