dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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