There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
