i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
North Korea, Best Korea!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
