I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
