i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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