My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
