I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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