my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
