you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
