Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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