Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How naked do you want me to be?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
