That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
