I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
