I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
