good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
