Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i dont even know how to be here
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
