he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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