i jhust puked up my retainher.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
